You Can't Help Me, Kaelin.

“Mum loved me,” he said, breaking the silence. “I have no doubt about that. But I was so mad at her for staying with my dad. She’d always tell me he wasn’t all that bad he just made bad decisions.” He closed the gap between us and my pulse started to race. “I didn’t have a lot of friends because I didn’t want to have to tell them why they couldn’t hang out at my house. I was so desperate for help but so embarrassed. Mum was my only reason for living and with her gone. I honestly had nothing. No one to live for.”

He took my hand in one swift motion and clamped it around his forearm. Over the long scar that ran up it. My whole body was shaking as our eyes met. I felt like we were the only people in that house. More tears ran down my face. “What happened to you, Liam?”

He sighed. “I happened to me. There was so much pain, Kaelin. Too much pain. I didn’t. I didn’t know how to deal with it all. I didn’t know to exist without mum. There was only one way out. And that was death.”

This had to be a bad dream. I needed to wake up. Now. “But. But you’re okay now,” I stuttered, tears still streaming down my face. “You’re okay now and we can get you help. I’ll help you. We can talk to one of the counselors at school. And Alastair. You. You can come too, right?”

Liam’s uncle looked at me sympathetically and took a step closer to us. “No, my dear,” he whispered. “I’m afraid it’s too late for that.”

“What are you talking about?!” I squeaked. “How can ou say something like that?! You can’t just give up on him!!”

“Kaelin,” Liam breathed pulling me closer to him, his hand still around my wrist.

“No!” I shouted, pulling my hand from his grasp and stepping away from him. “No, I refuse to let you give up! I don’t care if you don’t want to be my friend. Just. Just let me help you!” I used my sleeve to wipe the tears from my eyes. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t hide the desperation in my voice. “Please, Liam,” I begged between sobs. “Please let me help you.”

Liam stepped closer to me again. “You can’t help me, Kaelin.”

“Why not?!” I shouted.

“Because,” he sighed. “I’m already dead.”

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